Part 1:
On the Josephine Hatcher-Hyung scale of intense stickiness?
This rated a serious nine-point-five.
Much stickier than the Cherry Bomb sauce at Sammy Gray’s Korean BBQ.
Way more sticky than organic Vermont maple syrup.
The only thing worse, maybe?
Saltwater taffy tangled and mushed in a fresh ponytail.
Of course, given the moment … candied hair seemed unavoidable.
Muddy goo flowed around us and glinted off smooth, shiny, impossible-to-climb walls.
Dale’s mane flecked with dark and light browns.
“Dale! You’re not eating this stuff, are you?”
“Ummm, no?” His tongue snuck back into his mouth. “Not really.”
This rated a serious nine-point-five.
Much stickier than the Cherry Bomb sauce at Sammy Gray’s Korean BBQ.
Way more sticky than organic Vermont maple syrup.
The only thing worse, maybe?
Saltwater taffy tangled and mushed in a fresh ponytail.
Of course, given the moment … candied hair seemed unavoidable.
Muddy goo flowed around us and glinted off smooth, shiny, impossible-to-climb walls.
Dale’s mane flecked with dark and light browns.
“Dale! You’re not eating this stuff, are you?”
“Ummm, no?” His tongue snuck back into his mouth. “Not really.”
We stood at the bottom of a circular vat embedded in the ground.
On opposite sides, just above the floor, were two openings the size of manhole covers.
Out of one gushed chocolate; the other splashed caramel.
The syrups oozed between Dale’s toes and soon dribbled in my boots.
Both of us stood dumbfounded as the rising pool made steady progress up our legs.
We were going to drown to death.
I would meet my maker as a hapless, bungling fudge log.
On opposite sides, just above the floor, were two openings the size of manhole covers.
Out of one gushed chocolate; the other splashed caramel.
The syrups oozed between Dale’s toes and soon dribbled in my boots.
Both of us stood dumbfounded as the rising pool made steady progress up our legs.
We were going to drown to death.
I would meet my maker as a hapless, bungling fudge log.
Still, compared to what awaited me?
This really wasn’t so bad.
All I wanted in life?
To study weather.
Meteorology.
Climatology.
I'd even be a storm chaser!
Anything.
Just weather.
This really wasn’t so bad.
All I wanted in life?
To study weather.
Meteorology.
Climatology.
I'd even be a storm chaser!
Anything.
Just weather.
But my parents?
They expected me to go to school for finance, just like my brother, and work at the family business.
Hyung’s Carpets.
FOREVER.
They expected me to go to school for finance, just like my brother, and work at the family business.
Hyung’s Carpets.
FOREVER.
A fate worse than death? Possibly.
I'd soon have a basis for comparison.
We were stuck in this candy dimension – in this trap – with no help or backup on the way.
Dale couldn’t blink us out. He hadn’t recharged yet.
And me?
I'd soon have a basis for comparison.
We were stuck in this candy dimension – in this trap – with no help or backup on the way.
Dale couldn’t blink us out. He hadn’t recharged yet.
And me?
All I’d been trying to do was find my neighbor’s lost dog.
This was completely bogus.
What a way to die.
I guess no good deed goes unswamped ... by a stupid, gooey flood of chocolate and caramel.
This was completely bogus.
What a way to die.
I guess no good deed goes unswamped ... by a stupid, gooey flood of chocolate and caramel.
